My Deployment Phases
By: Bailey Kee
Phase 1: Before Deployment
There is a lot of built up anxiety, on both ends. I can’t for sure say what my boyfriend was feeling, but I know he was dreading going. For me, I was so scared. Not because he was leaving, but because I wasn’t sure if I would get him back.
Phase 2: The Night Before They Leave
There was an arguement, we were both not wanting this to happen, not willing to face reality I suppose. It wasn’t a terrible arguement, and we got over it very quickly. I was just so ready for him to get over there, so we could create a routine, so I would know if/when I would get to talk to him. That was a big concern. I wanted to make sure he was okay.
Phase 3: More than 7,000 Miles Away
At first, I felt like death. I felt like time was going to go by so slow. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I always had my phone beside me, I worried constantly. I looked online for things that would ease my mind. Not a good idea, so don’t do it. Trust me. We didn’t get to talk much at all for the first couple of weeks.
Phase 4: The Middle:
I consider R&R halfway, since I am halfway to seeing him for it lol. I am doing a lot better. I keep myself busy, try not to worry much, cause honestly what is worrying about something you have COMPLETELY NO CONTROL OVER going to solve? If something is going to happen, it would happen anywhere. Them being deployed isn’t an automatic death sentence. I have my bad days where I cry and cry, but then I’m fine. I just miss him. I’ve never longed to be with someone so bad that it hurt. I physically miss him, his touch, his kiss, the way he brushes my hair out of my face and just stares at me. I know if I can make it through this, anybody else can. You just need to pray for them. Praying gets me through my darkest days, and I don’t feel so alone.
Phase 5: Time before R&R
You have a mix of happiness, tiredness, and being anxious. Okay, a lot of being anxious. It feels as if it will take a lifetime for them to get home, when it could be just a few days. You start making lists (If you’re like me, I’m a planner) of things you need to get done. Nails, trying to fit that last bit of dieting in, going to get your hair did, etc. Dates might get pushed back, and that’s okay. I survived that, and the end result was beyond worth it. That feeling you get when you see them standing there, in person, and arms reach.. is indescribable. It’s the most content, and most amazing feeling I have ever felt. Once you’re in their arms, that’s even more amazing. I could go on and on about us reuniting, so if you want to know more details feel free to ask.
Phase 6: Rest & Relaxation
Amazing. It was so easy to get into the ‘routine’ of being together. Being able to go to sleep with his arms around me, and waking up to his sleepy face was perfect. Making him breakfast, and driving with him. Instead of having my laptop and phone attached to me at all times, he was there. He proposed (YAY!! :D) And that was amazing, as well. There were a few times that I got pissed at him, whatever. That’s normal. I noticed that I have used the word amazing a lot, but it was nothing less than that. 9 months is nothing with the two weeks that we had.
Phase 7: The Send Off (Again)
I cried my eyes out. I know I didn’t make it easier for him seeing me like that, but I couldn’t help it. I had gotten so used to him always being there, and then it was taken away so abruptly. He let me cry as he held me, like he always has and ran his fingers through my hair. The day we had to leave for the air port was hectic. He couldn’t find his flag patch, or his keys to his room, and he noticed this about an hour before he had to be there. Long story short, we went into Atlanta to get a patch, and come to find out later it was in his backpack. Sigh. I have to say though, that day was one of the hardest days of my life. Hugging and kissing him good-bye and then watching him walk away from me, going back to God knows what. Going through as much as we have, I must say it is worth it. You will have your low points (And I’ve had plenty) but they need you there for them more than you can understand. Just remember that the both of you can make it through this with the love you share together.
This is all for now, I will update more :) I’m not through this deployment, yet!
Thanks for reading.
Phase 8: …And we wait.
Once he left again, it felt as if time was never going to go by until I saw him again. Life went back to the way it was before he came back. Not too much to report on here.
Phase 9: Homecoming
The best day of my life. Hands down. All the feelings and emotions, it’s crazy. You can’t explain it to someone who hasn’t been through it. I can honestly say, that all the shit and sleepless nights we go through is worth it to have them back home safe with you.
Me at homecoming once I saw him. ;)
p.s. not hearing anything from this ISN’T the end of the world. You don’t know what went on that day. They could be really tired, be having a blackout (cut off from all outside communication for a few days.) or they just didn’t feel like talking. Whatever the reason may be, know that “No news, is good news.” You live by that now.